


An Equitable Substitute

by northernexposure



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: #humour, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-07-31
Packaged: 2020-07-28 03:44:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20057479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/northernexposure/pseuds/northernexposure
Summary: Something's up with the Captain.





	An Equitable Substitute

**Author's Note:**

> A little fic archived from 2016. Further note at the end.

She couldn't sit still.

Chakotay watched the Captain with narrowed eyes. It was possible that no one else seated at this large table had noticed anything out of the ordinary. After all, _Voyager_ had only been with the Elbrem for two days, and so it was possible that no one else but him had noticed that Kathryn Janeway was struggling not to fidget. For the past five minutes, though, he'd been paying more attention to her than to the drone of negotiations preamble emanating from the Elbrem's side of the table. In those five minutes, he had seen her push her hair behind her ears at least twenty times, repeatedly cross and re-cross her legs, straighten her uniform jacket more often than Jean Luc Picard would at a state banquet, and generally fail to sit in the calm and collected fashion he would usually associate with his superior officer and friend.

She simply could _not_ sit still.

Moreover, he had a pretty damn good idea as to why. If only they hadn't stayed on the Elbrem homeworld last night. If they had returned to _Voyager_, this would not be happening.

The negotiations went on for another thirty minutes, during which Janeway failed to exude any greater level of calm. In fact, if anything, her agitation was getting worse. Even her speech was affected – every time she spoke, it seemed to Chakotay that Kathryn was rattling out her words at double speed.

Eventually a bell rang, signalling a fifteen minute recess for the delegates to stretch their legs and refresh themselves. As soon as they stood, Chakotay grasped Janeway's elbow and steered her towards the small room that had been assigned for the personal use of _Voyager_'s delegates.

"Stay outside the door, Ensign," he said, to the young security officer who had accompanied them. Chakotay pushed the door firmly shut behind him before he let Kathryn go.

"All right," he said. "How much did you drink?"

"What are you talking about?" she asked, stepping away and looking around the room with a rapid gaze.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," said Chakotay. "That rocket fuel they brought us this morning when they knocked on our doors to wake us up. How much did you drink?"

Janeway dropped her hands to her sides, refusing to look at him as her fingers tapped a quick, silent symphony against her thighs. "Um…"

"You drank all of it, didn't you?" he accused her. "For God's sake, Kathryn! Half a cup was enough for me to know it was ten times stronger than anything I'd ever come across on Earth! No wonder you can't keep still. What were you thinking?"

She balled her hands into fists, lifted her chin and narrowed her eyes at him. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine!" he exclaimed, exasperated. "I can practically see your heart beating out of your chest from here! I've half a mind to get the Doctor down here to check that you're not going to have a heart attack." He shook his head. "This is my fault. I should have come in there and taken it away from you."

"Like hell you should!" Janeway retorted. "Though heaven knows I'd like to have seen you _try_."

He shook his head. "Kathryn-"

"Chakotay," she said, cutting him off with a rasp that anyone who had met her for more than half a minute knew was not to be argued with. "I have been Captain of a lost ship for four long, _long_, years. I haven't gone to bed without feeling anxious for over one thousand four hundred and sixty days, and I haven't started a single one of those without wondering whether my crew will survive it. I have to do without almost every single thing I consider a pleasure out here, and that, to be blunt, includes my preferred method of stress relief, which believe it or not, isn't _actually _caffeine. So, Commander, unless you personally plan on supplying me with something that I might consider an equitable substitute – and trust me, now I've had this stuff you would find yourself working _very_ hard – you will take away any opportunity I have to drink coffee over my dead body. Or, as is more likely, yours. Understand?"

Chakotay, who had become rather sidetracked mid-way through this tirade, blinked into the ensuing silence.

"It's, uh –" he began, and then had to clear his throat and try again. "It's not coffee. I know that's how the universal translator rendered the word, but… it's not coffee."

"Damn straight it isn't," Kathryn observed, putting one hand on her hip and rubbing her temple with the other. "Rocket fuel isn't far off. Right now I feel as if I've got an entire nest of hornets buzzing about inside my skull."

Chakotay, who had been beginning to wish that he'd never started this line of questioning in the first place, frowned a little. "Are you sure you're all right? We could postpone these negotiations – get you back to _Voyager_, have the Doctor take a look at you. Or we can just go on without you. Neelix can take your place. He and I can easily handle things here."

Janeway shook her head. "No, I don't want to cause offence to our hosts, and postponing would only prolong our stay. I don't want to be here any longer than necessary."

A bell tinkled above their heads, the silvery sound a signal that it was time to return to the negotiating table. Janeway took a deep breath and rolled her shoulders.

"Ready?" she asked Chakotay. "With a following wind we should be through this in another two sessions."

"One, if your current speed is anything to go by," Chakotay quipped lightly, as they made for the door.

Kathryn laughed briefly. "Your concerns for my health aside, Chakotay, I'm seriously considering adding a few hundredweight of this coffee substitute to our list of requests. It's certainly a good notch or two above Neelix's best attempts."

Chakotay winced. "I'm really not sure that's a good idea, Captain…"

"Oh?" Janeway said, quirking one eyebrow at him as she opened the door. "Looking for an opportunity to do some moonlighting are you, Commander?"

She was taking her seat before he'd even managed to shut his mouth.

**Author's Note:**

> The morning that I wrote this, MissyHissy3 had sent me an email that just said, "All I've done is drink a whole pot of coffee and now my mind is buzzing like a hornet." Which was obviously calling out for a Janeway/coffee ficlet. (BTW, how is there not a 'Kathryn Janeway/Coffee pairing tag?!)


End file.
